hahaa. been reading this website where there are funny exchanges between employees and customers. Here are some really good ones:
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Pointless Paranoia, Meet Pistol Packin’
(A young man asks for a ticket for an R-rated movie and hands me his ID. I’m about to sell him the ticket when the lady behind him speaks up.)
Lady: “Wait! That picture in the ID doesn’t look like him at all!”
(I look at the ID. It appears he’s been sick since the photo was taken, but it’s clearly the same guy.)
Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m fairly certain that this is the correct ID. Now, if you’d just step up–”
Lady: “No! You can’t sell to someone with a fake ID. He could be a terrorist, for God’s sake! You should call the police!”
Me: “Ma’am, that is definitely not necessary. I am responsible for checking identification, and I–”
Lady: “I need to talk to your manager!”
(I begin to respond, but the guy politely waves me off and turns to the woman.)
Man: “Miss, I have another photo ID here, with a more recent picture. Do you think this matches?”
(He pulls a card out of his wallet and hands it to her. She goes completely white.)
Lady: “Well… um… yes, that’s, uh, fine!”
(She squirms for a moment, then exclaims, “I’ll be right back!” She drops the card and leaves the theater in a hurry. I give the guy his ticket.)
Me: “What was that you showed her?”
Man: “Oh, my handgun permit.”
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Fighting Fire With Fire
(A father is letting five kids make a complete mess of the restaurant. They’re ripping napkins and using it as confetti, breaking chopsticks and screaming their little heads off.)
Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to tell them to stop doing that. They are disturbing the other customers.”
Father: *beaming* “No.”
Me: “No, as in, no you won’t tell them to stop it?”
Father: *still beaming*“Yes.”
(I have to get back to work at this point and sure enough, the kids keep misbehaving. Several customers complain to me but I have no authority to throw them out. The last to complain is a table with about eight young guys.)
Customer 1: “So there’s nothing you can do about them?”
Me: “I’m so very sorry sir, but no. I can get you a drink from the house to make up for it.”
Customer 2: “No, that won’t do.”
Me: “Well, I can see if I can get you a free desert…”
Customer 2: “Not what I meant. Can’t you get your boss?”
Me: “I’m afraid he’s not in, sir.”
Customer 1: “Well we won’t accept any free stuff. I bet that would come out of your pay.”
Customer 3: Hold on…”
(The customer gets up and the others immediately follow him to the noisy, messy table. They’re now surrounded by eight tall young men who look mighty pissed.)
Customer 3, to the father: “Tell them to stop it.”
Father: *still beaming* “No.”
Customer 1: “You’re upsetting the waitress.”
Father: “Do you guys even work here?”
Customer 1: “No, we’re from that prison up the street. We’re out on parole. Funny coincidence, we all served seven years for kidnapping and murdering a bunch of noisy brats and a jerk who made minimum-wage waitresses cry.”
(At this point the kids become very, very quiet and the other patrons start giggling and staring.)
Father: “You’re lying.”
Customer 4: “Wanna take that chance, buddy?”
(One more lecherous grin was enough to send the whole bunch of misfits scurrying to the exit. My knights in shining armor actually got applause from the other diners and a free meal from me.)
[[[ Aww man! social conscience in a hella twisted way. hahahahaa!]]]
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Ah, Parents…
Sandwich Shop | Rhode Island, USA
(The phone rings at around 6-ish.)
Me: “Hello, this is D-…”
(I hear loud crying in the background.)
Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”
Me: “I…er…what?”
Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*
[[Note it's a sandwich shop. hahahaha.]]
