The night of lost memories

so.. went down to ecp.
went a little too early with al , so ended up with 4 hours to spare.

anyway, the bbq with 4-5 was nice, really nice.
it was like, even with all of us being in different schools and stuff,
nothing changed. in fact, i'll go as far to say it brought us closer together as class.
people were getting dunked in the sea, tau pok were happening, laughters and the standard bitching about happening all over the place. It was pure 4-5.

i typed out a long paragraph. but decided not to post it.
still not in a good mood.i'm crossing my fingers for thursday.
only that can save me now. and I'm hoping it does.
In fact, that's a lot alot of hope that it does.

Looking for that lost hope.

Black. isn't very nice.

I'm not in a good mood.
ahh fine whatever.

Been along time since i ain't in such a good mood.
it's actually more of a sad bad mood then angry bad mood.

I dunno.
and there's still so much stuff to do.
though that isn't worrying me very much.


It's just...
feel like a ticking time bomb.
ready to explode anytime.
and that above sentence sounds so clique.

but blehh.
I feel like some sort of volcano.
hiding this ugly black secret in me.

It's like.
argh.
the last time i exploded was last year.
4 years of tolerance.
and by tolerance. it was serious tolerance.
in secondary school.
every single horrible and unfair deed.
absorbed them all without a sound.
and then after those 4 years.
just couldn't take it anymore.
boom. Let's just say it wasn't nice.
and it was lucky it happened at home.
must have cried the whole day.
according to my mum anyway.

and now.
i feel the start of those stuff happening again.
all hiding in me, accumulating.
I just hope it stays in there long enough for me to get to somewhere quiet.
and my mum's fighting with my dad outside through the phone again.
tick.

sorry for being so emo.
just being. a bad day.
in school. at home.

I need help.
now.

just as it was feared.

I'm BORED.
like totally dunno what to do.
arghh. and i think i'm going to be like this way for a long long time. shucks.

ok anyway here is my desk packing scenerio today.

Before:



heh. then while packing, i found my old collection of can caps! =D




and i also found my cat high report book.
While looking through, found my sec 3 results.
the reason why i should have retained.



yea. failed EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT, 'cept for 2, pure lit and chinese.
how ironic i scored so well for pure lit and flunked english so badly. lol.
anyway yea, heard from the form teacher it's cause the teachers on the board all voted for me to go up, that's why it's where I am now.
you know, sometimes i wonder.
if they hadn't, would my life have changed?
i wouldn't have known anyone from aj, my generation would have changed by a year.
I'll be studying for O levels now.
i don't wanna think anymore. arghh.

ok anyway this is my desk after



heh. not a bad job eh.

yea, guess that's all.
I only have someone on on next saturday, which is the class 4-5 outing at ECP.
then nothing.
LIKE TOTALLY NOTHING.
OMG I'M GOING CRAZY.
I CAN'T BE STUCK AT HOME EVERYDAY.

shucks man.
maybe i just ain't people-orientated enough.
who knows?
ah wells.