The Night I Got Attached

this is an obscene time to be making a blog post.
this is an obscene time to be doing ANYTHING.

unless you are in the army.
but i'm not,
not at this moment...anyway.


But who cares.
I want to pen this down,
before I forget.

Because this is going to be
the happiest i'm going to be,
for a long, long time.


It was... an afternoon in Orchard.
Supposed to meet this girl for lunch.

She was working at this law firm,
and was on her lunch break.


When she came down,
she was... exceptionally determined.
took my hand,
and dragged/ran me to Centrepoint.


Brought me up to
the balcony(?) of the mall


Stared into my eyes
and said these words:
'I don't want to wait anymore,
I can't stand this.
I love you,
Please tell me you love me back.'

I said,
'Yes, yes, of course I do.'

And we hugged.
It felt like an eternity,
all rolled up into one,
that moment.

Soon after,
we sat down at a nearby bench.
looking up at the clear blue sky,
with clouds just...floating past.

I told her,
'Before we go on any further,
you know about me, my past.
I love you so much.
But you know I can't just
commit.
not now, not yet.'   

She looked right back at me,
and said,
'Of course I know,
It's ok.
I just wanted to know you loved me back.
Instead of a relationship,
let's just be...related.'

I have no idea why she had used the word related,
but I guess being related is a basic form of relationship?
A leading point UP to a relationship?
the... baby pokemon version of relationship.

I have never felt happier.
The world was spinning around me,
and I was on top of the world.

I looked at her again,
that beautiful, beautiful face.
She said,
'Before we go on any further,
we should probably have some ground rules.
for being related.
Rule #1:...'

Then my hand started feeling numb.

I woke up.

I was sleeping on my hand.

I closed my eyes.


Hoping,
Begging,
to whatever entity,
that this,
was part of my memory.
and not part of my dreams.


that I woke up,
into the same world
as her.


I didn't.

I closed my eyes again,
trying to go back to hers.

All I got was pitch black
darkness.


It was all..
unreal.

And so,
I am here.
5 mins on.


Trying to pen down
before I forget,
for I must never forget.


Not her,
not that world,
not ever.


A dream machine that paints my dream,
And an option to sleep in it forever.

   

Buses from hell.

When this story is told,
it will be known as
'The worst morning of my life'
or
'Buses from hell'
or
'I should have taken down his damn license plate number'

So
In the morning,
supposed to go for swimming practice for 
swimming competition within the battalion.

Went half an hour early to the bus-stop.
was unsure of the bus number to take,
so checked the list.
found the correct one,
so i took the bus when it came.

when i boarded the bus,
i double-confirmed with the bus driver.
seemed like his first time driving
or something, cause he was unsure as hell.

but he kept telling me
that his bus didnt go anywhere near nee soon camp
(where I wanted to go)
and asked me to take 851 from the opposite side of the road.


So i was like.... really? I thought i took this bus the other time,
but i alighted
and went opposite
to realize
NO SUCH BUS EXISTS.


Then i went back,
and realized my first bus
WAS THE RIGHT BUS ALL ALONG.
i was left with 5 mins then.


and was pretty much panicking,
since i was in-charge
and had to take attendance
and all that other administrative matters.


then the bus finally came.
but by then i was already late.

so the bus went on
and on.
then i saw nee soon camp!
as the bus was heading towards it,
with my already late for 10 minutes,
IT TURNED.


TURNED.
ALL THE WAY INTO PRIVATE ESTATE.
AND UP TO SELETAR RESERVOIR.


alighted.
felt like sitting on the curb
and just....giving up.


until a cab came.
and i flagged it.
and it took me to camp.
late for half an hour.


didnt take attendance.
probably gonna be banned from coming out on thursday.

but at least it was over.


or so i thought.


went to nex for lunch,
overshot the bus stop,
alighted,
took another bus.


after lunch,
then wanted to take 22 home.


22 came and stopped a distance away from the bus stop
waited for it to come up to the head of the bus-stop.
but it just....drove off.
i was pretty much halfway to hulk mode.
So i ran beside the bus,
and knocked on the door.


the bus driver looked at me,
AND ACCELERATED THE BUS.
ACCELERATED.

I RAN EVEN FASTER.
and knocked..harder.
he accelerated.


i just gave up halfway.


went down to mrt,
and took the mrt home.


i swear i have never felt more happy to step INSIDE the house.


I should have taken their license plate numbers.
dammit.

It's not me. It never was.

No one will understand.
But it's ok.

I do.


No one would bother.
But it's ok.


I would.


No one will care.
But it's ok.


I care.


No one will smile.
No one will love.

But it's ok.


Because at the end of the day,
when all is said and done.


I will.


Even if it is only me,
just me.

I will.