Do you remember you at all

What can I do; say it's true
When everything I have breaks in two.

Went to esplanade for study session today.
Borrowed quite the stuff!
Here's a list of the stuff we all borrowed!

And I did this stapler bullet sculpture during one of the lectures!
Nice right! It's like this guy saying hi to his pet!
Pets are probably the most loyal social companion.
Cause everything else sucks.
at least pets don't bail out on you.
or leave you behind
they may go and run around, but at least they always come back.
and not leave you far behind in the dust.

ok enough about the bad stuff.
Found an interesting book in the aj library!
Here it is!

Yeap! the book of etiquette!
I mean, if I'm going to break free from whatever ties.
I might as well give myself some good habits to start with.
And apparentally it's a hella old book. Cause the librarian told me.
In aj library since 1988.
Isn't that awesome.
Hope I can pick up some good stuff from there.

Alright, guess that's all for today.
Am gonna be free tomorrow, so most likely going to end up all depressed.
and I just had like coffee so there's no way I can sleep tonight already.
ah wells. everything sucks.
at least I'm not taking alcohol today I guess.
Thanks for the friends today =)

bye!

-And I guess you still haven't figured it out,
but I'm just not like the rest of them out there-

This could be the real world now.

Welcome to the real world now.
Went over to shaun's place.
did some minor drinking.
Might be the alcohol talking now. so don't blame me for this post.Ok so sorry for all the trouble caused today.
and yea i'm going to be ok tomorrow. really.
just needed time to stay away from everyone and do some thinking.

needed to re-calibrate my goals
change my outlook
and i guess that change of bad habits wouldn't hurt either.

ok so i've come to some conclusions.
i normally wouldn't put them up here.
but it's the alcohol.
so ya.
just some basic ones.

-gonna stop talking about homework. like in an annoying way.
-will try to fit into the class.
-stop using twitter as some rebound platform to sms
-most importantly. i guess.
I'm going to stop loving.
been thinking about it for a really long time.
and been discussing it with quite some people.
I mean. What i had was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
it's just the kind of thing that you really needed to feel
but now, the mystique is lost, no more mystery
no more excitement. no more nothing.
but now that everything's over.
i'm just going to give up.
yes i even made a pact. so there's no way i'm going to break it.

I mean. love is just a nonsense emotion. just some crazy-ass feeling that takes over and when all is done and gone, leaves. why should anyone make any commitments over some emotion? It just doesn't add up.

Of course, I would love to have some good close friends to be able to rely on, to rant and whine to. But i guess. It just isn't fair for anyone. So I'm just going to lock everything up. until the time is right.

Life kinda sucks when you think about it this way.
But sometimes your bad reputation has already seeped in so deep,
that to come out would be as hard as it to wade forward.
I'm going to try my best.
Let's just hope for the best.
and there's nothing to prepare for,
for the worst is already done and gone.

sorry. for everyone I hurt.
I'll make it up. Soon. Promise.

I hate me.

"And i figure it now, breakin' what's your heart is for"
All-American Rejects
Who knows.
who cares.
who matters.
i want to cry.
crap.

one night without alcohol and i'm already a mess.
my parents starting to suspect something so i can't get any more alcohol from them.
looks like i have to start buying my own.
this sucks.

get out of it already.
what's the matter with you.
or me.
for the matter.

i think i just need to cry.
but i can't.
i'm going to implode sooner or later.

why am i such a jerk.
what happened in between?
why did i change so much?
why can't i get back into social norm?
why can't I just be NORMAL.

i'm just moody today.
whatever happened to the old me?
I need to find it back.
NOW.

this sucks.
my life sucks.
ok my mum is giving me some more alcohol.
at least i won't feel so sucky today.
i want to just disappear already.
i suck.
please let me die of alcohol poisoning tonight.
i don't want to see what happens no more. the game is already over.
i'm sad.