I guess this is good-bye.

don't know what to say.
last post. as far as i know.

guess.
things ain't all that great.

even if everyone thinks it is.
there are troubles.

hidden beneath the illusional paradise.

but still.
everything's too late now.

one year too late.
2 months early for me to detect what was wrong.

but yet.
i need to find.

the old me.
back.

this.
is excruiating.

the hidden hopes.
the falls.

throughout the year.
i hate. argh.

want back the old days.
in catholic high.

freaking. hell.
this sucks.

not even sure.
whether the 5 years in cat high.

was suppose to be heaven before hell.
or a lack of preparation for hell.

but still.
i guess.

they gotta come sooner or later.

i'm just being childish.
but the changes.

it's obvious.
the corruption.

in the guys.
everyone changed.

and sad to say.
it's for the worse.

and i just found mine.
rooted deep in.

the fears.
the paranoias.

the world look at looks.
what can i do.

but i guess,
what i did was already done.

so there's no turning back now.
I tried my best.
in the and of unknowns.

and now. there's a last try.
one that many do not want to use.

i guess you can't obtain something new.
if you are unwillingly to let go of something old.

and i guess.
it's time.

for me to let go.
of this year.

everyone.
everything.

I've not been a good friend.
not been a good listener.

not been a good person.
not been a filal son.

not been a supporter.
not been the person i was meant to be.

stepped out of line.
and i'm going to go back.

I'm sorry.
sorry for the damage i've caused.

i'm sorry.
to the class. for not being appreciative.
for playing the fool.
for messing around.
for taking alot of people for granted.
for just being plain mean.
for not being how a guy and a gentleman should be.

i'm sorry.
to the guys. for changing into the worse.
for the lack of foresight.
for not seeing the true gems in front of me.
for thinking i changed.

i'm sorry.
to the teachers. for not studying hard.
for procrastinating.
for doing bad.

im sorry.
to myself. for not giving up on internet addiction.
for changing.
for taking people for granted.
for thinking i was ok.

I'm sorry.
but everything's too late for sorry. now.

the damage been done.
the hurt been cast.

i just hope.
that maybe. hopefully.

i can be a better friend.
a better person.
a more caring guy.
a guy.
to everyone that i will know next year.

i'm sorry.

i guess it's time.

to start preparing for next year.
just like how i was preparing for last year.

alone.

good bye.
for real.

"Life is a bed of roses,
for there are always thorns,
underneath those beautiful petals."
-Yeo WenBin

Back.or not.

I think.
it's time.

can only mean.
one thing.

someone.
trying to tell me.

no one.
cares.

emotional.
whatever.

bye.