There's always rainbow after a storm.

Things seem unchanged. Though I've been getting answers to the problems that I've been facing.



I now realize why i seem to have no future or aim in life. That's because (according to bobby yong) that I'm suffering from this thing called the Post-gaming syndrome. It's what happens when you suddenly stop gaming altogether when you have been addicted to it.According to him, when you are addicted to gaming, you will spend all your time in virtual reality and give up your homework. Then you'll give up your aims in life and concentrate on those in virtual reality.



However, when you suddenly stop gaming and delving into virtual reality, you lose your aim in the virtual world AND also those of the real world. Thus, there will be this transition period where you will not have any aim in life and feel very confused.

That's exactly wad's happening to me now. I'm so pleased i know I'm not going crazy. =D



My parents are still dao-ing each other. which might not be too bad.in a sense. hmm.



Thanks for all my classmates showing concern. I'm touched and now realize what it truly means to have friends.In fact, just as one of you have said, it might even be a blessing in disguise. My brother stopped his gaming addiction, and I realize how actually important friends are. If i was to put it in a analogy, it would be like someone falling off a high flat or cliff, and friends will be the many cushions on the way down that will try to cushion your bad fall.



And i found out, SYF might just not be my thing. I've been singing so badly in the last 3 years, even if i buck up now, i might not have that chance.



hmm, and daryl chee and junfeng "conveniently" screwed up my pencil case and my sch bag.



They wrote Mels and drew ove signs all over my calculator cover with some pretty weird message at the back which I shall not mention =) my calculator's back was also not spared the message.

Then they went on to my mathematical set, which was also not spared.

and they went to write a big Mel there, which turned out to be unerase-able later on. =.=''



And the worst thing was, they used those super-permanent paint marker which sticks on like hell. Thanks a bunch to Alex who helped me to remove the marker stains. In the process of trying to stop them vandalising my things, i got myself 'decorated' with more than 6 diff colours of markers and my while left hand and leg is filled with coloured dots here and there, ppl were like staring when i went to the bus-stop later la. And they wun come off no matter how hard i scrub. argh.



I tried to remove the stains, the calculator stains were removed but my pencil case's stains just could not come off la. argh!



Hmm, i already have almost 200 ppl visiting my blog counting just after my post a few days ago. So it's now going at 4185 ppl.



-There's always rainbow after a storm, there's always peace after chaos.-

Things just keep getting worse.

Things just keep getting worse.



thanks for the concern everyone have showed me, i'm really touched. my mom's just came home, looks like
she's fine, but i dunno wad will happen when my dad comes back. =.=



and just to add on to my stress, my results are dropping like crazy.

and i failed my SYF audition.

and it's not like i fail, the conductor wanted to pass me.

but
the stupid teacher-in-charge whispered to him that my attitude sucks(I think)
just because i was late twice in a row during the dec holidays with
perfect attendance.

so the conductor failed me.

and if it isn't more problematic enough, i do not have an idea of my future.



and my world just seem to be all crashing on me.

family sucks.

results sucks.

school sucks.

future sucks.



there's nothing left to live for.



sigh.

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I'm sick and tired. =(

I'm tired. and sick.

I have this dreaded feeling whenever i'm posting. Why can't my life be better ? Why must it be bad news whenever i post here? Why can't the world be a better place?



I'm hiding in my room, blasting loud rock music in my ears to cover out the noise outside. My parents are fighting and quarrelling again.

Whenever they start quarrelling,I have this weird feeling. the feeling of dread and helpless-ness. It's unlike any other feeling and this feeling can only be felt when two of your most beloved people starts fighting with one another. It's not even felt when two of your most and best-est friends quarrell and fight. This feeling drags my heart down. I.. it can't be described.



My mom has been shouting"i want to divorce you" for a few minutes now. I mean, if you want to divorce, just go get the damn letter from the lawyer and divorce la. I'll rather a broken family than a family that is in chaos all the time.



They've been fighting since some time last year. it's always fight, then quiet for a while(normally a week or 2) then start quarrelling again. My dad is always sulking and my mum won't give in.



I'm trapped. In the unfeeling and horrid family. I just want them to stop quarrelling. If the quarrelling can't be stopped. I'll seriously rather they just divorce each other and get the hell out of here. I'm sick.and fed-up.


EDIT:
I came home from tuition. and my mum and dad were quarrelling. then they went into their room. then more quarrelling ensued. then my dad came out and slept on the sofa. my mum could be heard throwing things and crying inside. then when she came out, there was blood all over her. the police came shortly and tried to calm her down, then the medics came and took her to hospital, my bro went off with her, my dad's now at home and I've locked myself in the room, I'm shocked and traumatise. I need help.

AND THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE. I'M GOING CRAZY.
-If you do not trust your other half, why marry him in the first place?-