I know I hvae been daydreaming a lot at school, for people who didn't notice. That was cause I am torn at a dilemma, Computer(internet) or studies. The holy part of me tells me i should give up computer for my studies, however the other part of me is telling mi it is not possible to give up computer, in fact, it has become a reflex action for me to on the internet when I come home after school, after showering and eating, I will on my computer and start using it. It has become more of a addiction than a pure interest, taking part in forums, playing games, It has become a part of my life which I cannot survive without.
When I try to do my homework, I look at all the squilly words and maths which I dun even understand and then tells myself, "sian, so hard to do, I dun even understand, give a damn lah! Go surf net, then I'll back to my com." I want to give up com, my studies are dropping, I dun even understand the topics he teachers are teaching and now that the teachers have been so far in front but I just do not understand the topics... That's also the reason why I have been so moody in school lately and daydreamy, cause I feel torn apart, I know it is wrong to give up studies for com, very wrong.
But I just cannot stop myself, it's just like drugs, and I have been addicted so much that I just cannot give it up. I feel a good side and bad side of me(something I have never felt until now), tearing apart my body, using my body for tug-of-war, conflicting myself, arguring within me.
I just cannot take it anymore, using com is wrong, but I just cannot stop myself. This has been happening for quite a long time now, but I'm gonna explode soon if I do this post. I really need advice to slove the conflict within me before the good and bad side within me tear apart my body....
Or right, on a brighter note, I'm sorry blog! How could I forget ur birthday on March the 5th! Anyway, Here's to you, Happy Belated Birthday! Yeah! My visitors have increased to a total views of 2000 and rising! Wow! In just a year, this is a big feat, a really big one. And blog, for ur birthday present, I'm going to find a really nice blogskin and decorate you up! How about that, Would you like it?
P.S.I've been so moody over the dilemma that my brain is highly unstable, so dun blame me if I dun answer u when u call me... My brain is so unstable I'm even talking to my blog! It would take quite some time and advice for me to revert myself back to my happy-go-lucky state, Friends, thanks for your support, I can never repay u all..
