So everything's different, I guess that's ok

So tell me your secret;
and i'll sell you my soul

HELLO. =D
I have prove that drinking choya does not contribute as binge drinking!
because.. it has "relaxing effect as well as its usefulness for keeping healthy". It also " relieves fatigue and helps the body recover its energy and vitality".Also, " drinking just a bit in times when the appetite is lost stimulates saliva and gastric secretions enhancing the appetite and bringing out the flavor of any meal. Third and last, UME-fruit liqueur possesses a sterilizing effect and an intestinal digestion process coordinating effect that purifies the body's internal organs and relieves diarrhea." Soooo I guess even though it has 15% alcohol content it's technically healthy to drink! =D

ok you probably can guess I just drink 2 shots of choya. so there.
but at least i didn't drink for past few days! aha.

ANDAND I JUST FOUND ASTON'S IN AMK! =D
hahaha after all the rumours. I finally found it.
yes it's in amk central.
and yes it's in a coffeshop
but the coffeeshop is quite ulu LOL.
and at the same time I was going to eat aston's. just the serangoon one instead. HAHA.

and i just found out alot of my library stuff is overdue! =x
my "7th heaven" by James Patterson and a movie that SOMEONE borrowed. LOL.
ok i shall go and return my book tomorrow.
and tomorrow is filing day!
I'm going to file up my worksheets, my notes that keeps making my bag heavier, and my guitar scores!
I just learnt lullaby(the classical piece by Brahms) on guitar! ahaa playing it gives me alot of satisfcation.
I dunno why though.

I think it's cause...
nah i dunno why.

I feel the urge to keep on typing and talking and talking.
Maybe cause there's no one entertaining me on msn now so i'm bored. =x
but I'm running out of topics!
ehhhh
ehh

Aha! I'm still reading the book of etiquette.
So apparentally it's the wrong book cause it was etiquette in the 1926 since it was written then.
No wonder the librarian said the book was old.
So they were still using horses and stuff for weddings.
But some of the information inside is still very interesting! =D

Like did you know dinner parties should start at 7.45pm and the dinner should start at 8pm? =) And R.S.V.P actually came from a french word... I can't remember what.

ok never mind I shall start on my "Impromptu Story Of The Day"!:

The night sky was plain, as plain as could be. The crescent moon shone its' loving rays down on the earth, where all was quiet. That included the village of Monirue. All the lights were off, and everyone was having fun(maybe some more than others) in dreamland. A gentle breeze blew against the trees and leaves shook.

Out of nowhere, a flash of shadow streaked through the village square.

Melody was out to play. She couldn't sleep. Hell, she could never sleep. She never felt tired. She did rest, but even then her senses were heightened. She belonged to a line of elite assassins know as the 'Raxton' It was not somthing to be joined however. You had to be born an assassin. The speed, the sensitive senses, only one person had been trained to be an assassin. Everyone else already had that ability when they were born.

So, she was just loitering around the village, looking for nothing in particular. The village elder had seeked her help in guarding the village and she had agreed. It was not as if she had anything else to do, anything, with the Raxton involved with investigating a group of unknown deaths over in Techrone over in the far east.

As the wind blew past her, her ears perked up. There was someone else in the vicinity! She hid behind a house as she listened attentively.

'faint walking footsteps at 5 o'clock, seems to have the smell of a man, clancking sound heard, most likely armour.' She whispered to herself. She wasn't prepared for this! She wasn't even properly armed with blades! All she had was a rusty dagger she used for self-defence.

"even a rusty dagger can cause death." She remembered her lesson on Life Survival. Picking it up, she ran behind the houses and seemed to disappear in another flash of shadow.

"What are you doing here, mortal. Speak your reason or die!" She growled angrily in his ear.
"Melody? What are you doing here? and get that dagger out of my neck, I'm on your side, god damn it."
"Witner? What are you doing here prepared for war so late in the night?"
"Hired by the chief, didn't he tell you?"
"he... might have."Melody looked at the ground, embarrassed, she hadn't been paying much attention lately. And anyway assassins weren't suppose to make this kind of mistakes, for it often lead to consequences of life-or-death.
"Ahh, it's ok, no offence taken, I wasn't hurt anyway."
"oh.. oh I'm so sorry."

And the wind blew again, ticking the leaves as one dropped from its' branch and landed outside the village grounds.
Somewhere in the forest surrounding the village, near the fallen leaf, a bright red eye shone through the darkness.

And then alot more.

And alot more.

"It's time. Attack!"

===========================================
ok sooo yeap. done!
ok My brother just organized an impromptu mahjong session.
anddd no one wants to play with him. lol.
ahh wells.

R.S.V.P=Repondez, s'il vous plait (Answer, if you please)

yeap. so you all learn something new today! aha!

Guess that's all for today. seeya! =D

That's just me

Well, everything's the same,
in the la-la land machine.

soo yeap back.
mum fried gyoza again!
=D
that's like 4 times in a row i'll been gorging on them.
My mum's kinda surprised;
cause I always end up soaking the whole thing in vinegar.
Like really soak.
I don't know. Just seem to have this very very strong craving for vinegar.
I don't actually.. like like the gyoza.
I just like the vinegar.
Pretty much proved when i changed all my soya-sauce food to dipping them in vinegar.
And the weird thing is.. i don't like go crazy over vinegar. cause it's bitter/sour.
but i just keep having this weird craving that I want it.
Cause the extremely sour taste gives me a kick I guess.
Ahh wells, let's hope this is just another stupid phase and it'll end soon. Like my alcohol craze.

yes, I stop drinking alcohol so much already.
That time it was the same case as the vinegar.
I didn't actually like like those stuff, but just had a really really strong craving for them.
darn.

Now i'm extremely bored. =(
I want someone to talk to!=(

ok since i'm in such a talktative mood today.
I might as well declare something.
I'm child-like.
ok, there, said it.
As in not "i want to be childish" kind of thing.
It's more of a....
AHHHH FINE. I'LL JUST SAY IT.
I'm still a kid. aha.
ok FINE. to make it clearer.
I never used shavers and don't know how to use them.
GET THE PICTURE? -.-
I'VE BEEN CHEATED BY PUBERTY. BASICALLY.
Sadly, with that comes quite some consequences.
I whine alot.(I'm sure you all have noticed.)
A little attention-seeking.
don't get the concept of love\relationships.
...
...
and everything that comes with being a kid.

So sometimes i still do wonder why kids can't rule the world;
and why we can't have candy for all 3 meals of the day.
yes. I still think like a kid.
I seem to think of it as a really awesome and cool thing.
but... guess some people don't. haha.
too bad i guess, it's just in my genes. Not as though I can help it.

Soooooo. the purpose of that is just a heads' up.
So if I behave like a kid don't blame me!
yeap. =D

okkk. so back to the post.
Hmmm. I'm still bored.
Ahh wells, here's a little new segment called 'Impromptu story of the day'
I'll just type whatever's on my mind.
here it goes!
"And the space-ship loitered just outside of Galaxy Sector 5a. The people on board knew, knew deep in their hearts, that they were never go back to their home planet. Even worse, it had been occupied by something so hideous, so disgusting, that even the humans didn't dare to fight against.
'Sedtor, Sedtor, do you read? I repeat, do you read?'
'zzzzz'
'zzzzz'
'Damn it. Sedtor! don't lose me dammit, do you read!'
'Ahhh Warner, don't waste your breath, they're probably taken over by the Zorgkins.'
'I... I don't believe it! Sedtor!'
'Give it up Warner! They're gone! accept it!'
"My sister was in there! SHE WAS IN THERE. SEDTOR! DO YOU READ. DO YOU...."
"Stop it Warner! They're gone! If they were still there they would have replied! Let's go!"
"I.. I refuse to... Marline... Marline..."
And as Redward, with his admirable strength, dragged Warner out of the communications room, the ship prepared for hyperspace jump, as everyone knew the Zorgkins would be looking for them very soon.
Click. The room door shut as Warner's sobs were heard throughout the corridor.
A red light beeped.
"I want.. I want to go back and try again! I know she's still alive!"
And it beeped again.
"No Warner! Come with me! You haven't eaten for at least 5 days now! I order you to go eat something! Now!"
"I... I guess you're right. I shouldn't have wasted my energy."
"Attaboy, come I'll treat you to dinner!"
"Thanks, i guess."
And the red light beeped again as the speakers crackled to life.
"Zedtor... requesting... drop ship... escape pod... Marline.... here.... help... Zorgkins.... following... help!"

=====================================
Guess that's all for it. Just typed as it came along. So nothing great I guess.
Ahh wells. Satisfied my typing urge for the day. ahaa.
seeya!

Season: Autumn

let's burn a hole so we can climb out

from these paper walls and this empty house
don't listen to them, their words are like guns

anddd i'm back!
ok I'm feeling better.
=) thanks for all the support.
Life seems wayy more interesting once you've set your sights on something.

Ok. So. today.
I was thinking since the blog's been through quite a rough patch,
maybe a little interval break?
So welcome to:

Top 10 things I wanna do before I die
(Not in any order of preference)

Music
1) Learn Piano\keyboard
2) Learn Ocarina(a very awesome instrument. it was played by Zelda, picture below!)

3) Harmonica(Something like 2, but it wouldn't hurt to learn another one... right?)
4)Learn drums(Beats are awesome. But i think there's no way I can ever pull it off)

Places
5) See a beautiful sunset with a best friend(And talk, maybe bring along some chips, then sleep on the beach while listening to the waves crashing onto the rocks.)
6) Take a few close friends and go backpacking around the world(This is so highly awesome.)
7) Walk down Paris, France. (Darn. it'll just make me sad since I swore off relationships. Ok I can do it with a friend too... right?)

Social
8)A close circle of friends who are NOT interested in relationships(If not things always get messy when relationships get involved; ALWAYS. that's why they should probably ban relationships from the world. ahh wells.)

Languages
9) Learn French(cause it's a highly romantic/high-class language)
10)Learn Spanish(Cause I just think it sounds fun. aha.)

anddd yeap. top 10 for now. it'll probably change in the future. But no harm doing it right? ahha.
hmmm. what else.

ohhhh. yea. CCA showcase on friday! I need to come up with something for posters and flyers. darnn. ok since it's just a showcase we don't need so many flyers I guess. aha.

I feel significantly happier now.
Omg please don't tell me I'm mood swinging.
Cause I keep having spikes of happiness and depression.
Shit. This is not good.

I feel like... going to study for the GP test tomorrow!

-I wanna warn you but i dunno how,
but the environment is dangerous now.-

there's only hate

there's only tears;there's only pain
there is no love here

I hate coming home.
ok change that.
i hate being alone.
cause i keep getting this swelling feeling in my chest.
that wants to come out.
and I have to force it in.

and tonight it got really bad.
at least I'm trying my best to stop the alcohol-drinking.
but I feel like the world's a mess.
and it's all my fault.
and the movie "stranger than fiction" definitely didn't help.
Funny how i keep choosing the most inappropriate movies.

Because i freaking want to die.
ok to digress, the movie's about....
ok i shall not say just in case there're people who want to watch.
but damn. man.
If I was the guy, I would have wanted her to continued writing.
the tradegy ending.
I mean, GOD. it's so beautiful.
Why the hell did she do it.
He's already prepared to die for goodness sake.

I really hope I could just let someone narrate my life.
Just tell me what's happening,
and kill me in a heroic way.
I would really like that alot.
I mean, since I'm so useless and moping down here anyway.
I might as well sacrifice my life for a beautiful piece of literature.
And all along that has always been my most preferred way to die,
die through saving someone.
Damn now I really want to be in that movie.
stupid author.

So yea, the movie didn't help much cause i really felt like dying in the end.
Like seriously. I wouldn't even mind just going out now and injecting myself with some poison and die on the street.
and now i'm in totally no more mood to bother about maclaurin's. or PnC.
Just calculate the probability that I'll die in my sleep tonight and expand it.
Now my mind just screams out to me that everything's false.
I keep having notions.
There's this feeling.
I don't know.
that everyone's just playing with me.
and my feelings.
just... leading me on.
into some sort of emotional trap.
and .
I don't know.
don't
know how to
stop it.

Please.
oh please.
anyone.
someone.
help.

[don't. help. or you'll get hurt. just leave me alone. I really need someone to pour all my feelings into and anyone who lets me do that is going to be in a hell lot of emotional trouble. so. please. just. stay away.]

[help.]
[i really. want. help.]
[someone. let me. someone.]
[please. anyone.]
[ ]

edit: I'm ok. I'm ok. really. just ignore everything.

this is the world, coming down on your head

i never thought i would wake up in bed,
watching the world coming down on my head

argh.
I'm so freaking.
argh. i don't even know what to say.
fuck.

It seriously sucks to wake up one day.
to find out all your illusions are false.
that NO ONE LIKES YOU.
AT ALL.

what they shared were just a fleeting memory,
a short moment of entertainment.

I meant nothing to them.
nothing at all.
I was just entertainment.
damn it.

And all the close friends are leaving one by one
just leave if you hate me so much, dammit
(or was I over-reacting)
just go, go and never come back
(this sucks, my mind hurts)
get out if I don't mean anything to you
(sucks)

Everyone hates me.
i can see it in their actions,
they move away from me
I hear it in their voice,
containing hints of spite and hate
I feel it in my heart,
EVERYONE HATES ME.

I guess that's the last of 'em.
I have no one left.
no, nothing, left.
(or was it a misunderstanding?)

how do I even think, when my mind tells me i'm a failure,
shows me the spite people have,
the hate people contain,
how everyone is sneering underneath.

save your voices,
i know what you mean.
save your actions,
i know what you mean to do.
and save your feelings,
i know all of you mean to say and do.

just all SAVE it alright.
(i really hope it's a misunderstanding.)
You know what,
I can survive on my own,
just leave me here.
and get lost.

Thanks for hurting me when I'm down.
thanks.

Fuck. Just let me cry dammit.I.can't.cry.