Went over to shaun's place.
did some minor drinking.
Might be the alcohol talking now. so don't blame me for this post.
Ok so sorry for all the trouble caused today.and yea i'm going to be ok tomorrow. really.
just needed time to stay away from everyone and do some thinking.
needed to re-calibrate my goals
change my outlook
and i guess that change of bad habits wouldn't hurt either.
ok so i've come to some conclusions.
i normally wouldn't put them up here.
but it's the alcohol.
so ya.
just some basic ones.
-gonna stop talking about homework. like in an annoying way.
-will try to fit into the class.
-stop using twitter as some rebound platform to sms
-most importantly. i guess.
I'm going to stop loving.
been thinking about it for a really long time.
and been discussing it with quite some people.
I mean. What i had was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
it's just the kind of thing that you really needed to feel
but now, the mystique is lost, no more mystery
no more excitement. no more nothing.
but now that everything's over.
i'm just going to give up.
yes i even made a pact. so there's no way i'm going to break it.
I mean. love is just a nonsense emotion. just some crazy-ass feeling that takes over and when all is done and gone, leaves. why should anyone make any commitments over some emotion? It just doesn't add up.
Of course, I would love to have some good close friends to be able to rely on, to rant and whine to. But i guess. It just isn't fair for anyone. So I'm just going to lock everything up. until the time is right.
Life kinda sucks when you think about it this way.
But sometimes your bad reputation has already seeped in so deep,
that to come out would be as hard as it to wade forward.
I'm going to try my best.
Let's just hope for the best.
and there's nothing to prepare for,
for the worst is already done and gone.
sorry. for everyone I hurt.
I'll make it up. Soon. Promise.
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