The Fun We Once Had

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Dear WenBin,

Congratulations wenbin, you just went up and screwed up yourself again.
I give up on you, haven't you learnt your lesson?
Those people can only mean more mental trouble for you.
why bother?You need the discipline.
You know you've lost.
So stop hoping for the impossible.
in fact, you've just hurt yourself this afternoon.
and all because you still held that hope.
don't believe me? wait till monday comes.
Don't come crying and whining to me.
I warned you before.
and my patience is wearing thin.
You're not suited to this environment.
You know it.
So stop trying to change.
You're just gonna hurt yourself.
Just because an opportunity to change comes along,
doesn't mean you go grabbing it like a despo.
What you desire is not for you to choose.
You know it since you've been born.
You did not come to this world to impress.
You were born for yourself.
You know it.
And i don't have to tell it to you again.
So shut up.
You might think it's just your paranoid thoughts taking control over again,
but it's not this time.
You know you freaked that person out.
even though that person tried not to reveal it.
Who asked you to reveal what was inside of you.
Who asked you to say out what you really thought.
WHO was it that allowed you to say out what you felt about it all?
Know what?
Serves you right.

So, I'm telling you once again.
Heed my warning:
Do not bother about what happens.
You were not suited to this environment.
Just stay out of it all.
You have already hurt yourself hard enough.
You're sure to lose.
You must look at the big picture.
You must look at your future.
All these are just illusions.
Side-roads to trick you to your death.

Heed my call.
For only I know you best.
You know it.
I know it.
Out.
NOW.

Your Master,
Consciousness

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Went over to zhongying's house for cny party with vicky's gang and people.
haha his house was damn freaking big.
like hotel liddat sia.
complete with a lift and fountain.
Went over to play cards and mahjonng.

Had the same gabriel victor quarrel.
haha we all scream until neighbors came complaining
Tonight was damn fun.

It's one of those kind of pure innocent fun i had not experienced since last year.
Those fun that you know you can enjoy yourself to the max without anyone bothering.
Those kind of fun that you know did not consist of any social back-stabbing afterwards.
Those kind of fun that enables you to play to your hearts' content with no consequences whatsoever coming to haunt you.
Those kind of fun you know you can never have when there are girls around.

I really miss my class.
I miss hitting each other just because of a tiny matter.
I missed chasing each other just because we were bored.
I missed playing with the class' AV equipemnts.
I miss the shouting and quarrelling over the 2 ends of the class with the teacher laughing in the middle.
I missed my friends.
I miss my past.
My present requires too much change.
I cannot take it.
I just wanna escape back to the past.

-When you try running back to the past, only to be forced forward by the present towards the future-