Tired, tired and tired.
What's new?
Ended school on a super boring note.
had teachers that warned me not to sleep during lectures amounted to 3.
I really need something to wake me up.
Maybe i should get my mom to do chinese herbs.
ahhh wells, but they're not exactly good for health.
Then there's cheryl's bday.
hahahaa the picture we took was super funnnyyy.
There was sports day. and 33/08 was like the only class in Jaguar to zi high.
Yea. we got the lousiest seat. rumored to be cause we're the last house.
lol.
Anyway the people were just all in a mess anyway.
Got into childish mode halfway and kept whining that I wanted to go home.
ahh wells.
Went home early, then changed and went for the play.
The play actually exceeded my expectation.
And it got me thinking.
On the topic i'll been dodging so long.
the topic on my mind ever since this year.
That topic.
yea,couple love. What is it all about?
Here's my own opinion, and believe me, it ain't gonna be pretty.
People all around the world accepts couple love.
That's undeniable.
They take it as an important part in their lives.
A giant leap towards self-fulfillment.
We have even the the most cold-hearted system of all meddling in love.
Yea, all your laws of divorce, laws of engagement, and whats not.
And because of this, we link everything intimate and close to love.
A woman should only get pregnant with someone she loves, or else she has no shame.
French-kissing someone that you don't love gets you named as a player.
"Don't hold his hand, I know you don't even like him! You traitor!"
"Why are you buying a diamond ring for her? Gonna propose?"
"Oh.my. god. Did you stay overnight in his house? When did you two get together!"
But. Is this love?
is love the showering of material goods, the proclamation of inner-most feelings towards someone?
is love the act of intimacy, the act of being close?
is love just a matter of saying, "I love you, darling, you know i do." ?
Love does not last.
It knows no beginning, and it knows no end.
It captures your feeling, and cleverly illusionise you.
It puts you into a world where flowers never wither when the other half is around.
And thus, can we say it is a devil?
But yet. Love has pushed people to do great things.
People have sacrificed themselves because of love.
People have done magnificent acts because of love.
So, should love be under positive energies like happiness and joy?
or should it be under negative energies like jealousy and sorrow?
But yet, if love is meant to be ever-lasting and to be with the one you love.
Why do there exist divorces?
Why do there exist people who pick up and dump their boy/girl friends like it's not their business?
Is this love?
Are there actually love involved?
If it is suppose to be a feeling that keeps tightly bonded two people to go through thick-and-thin together, why is this bond so easily broken?
Is Cupid switching to made-in-china arrows?
I think not.
And however, there still exist people who can see past this illusion.
This imaginary illusion of Cupid's curse.
Sure, we see them as losers of love, ugly, no charm, whatever.
But, these are the people who see the true meaning of love.
That there are no such things as "Love at first sight"
That if they commit, it's for a lifetime.
And these are the people that do not confess their love.
these are the people who keep their feelings secret.
these are the people who believe in one, just one and a true other half to last for eternity.
These are the people who commit into relationship only after months and years of ups and downs with that other half.
These are the people who see past puppy loves and crushes.
These are the people who can pick up the flaws, and positive edges in the other half.
How to protect them when their flaws take over, and how to use their positive edges to counter their own flaws.
Sadly, the other half don't see this point.
That's when "hen-peck" appears.
We see "hen-pecked husbands" appear as losers, as people who don't have their own mindsets.As people who don't dare to stand up.
But that is not true.
These men know that for a relationship to work, they have to humble themselves and put in sacrifices to benefit the other half.
However, instead of doing the same, the people just makes use of their kindness as weakness and manipulates their husbands.
Only when two of these "hen-peck" people meets each other, that a relationship will last.
A relationship that will last for ever due to both sides giving in to each other.
A relationship that will last due to the both sides understanding the pains and happiness of the other half.
That's where all your old grandmas and granpas that have lived happily till they past away comes in.They have gained enough wisdom and experiences through their lives to see this point.
Then, gender issues comes in.
Is love really just applicable to a male and a female?
or does it really know no bounds.
I believe in the latter.
But the society, sadly, do not.
I'm not saying that I'm one of them. I'm straight.
But I support it when love interacts between two of the same gender.
Sure. you may say that god does not meant for it to be this way, it's not natural because of their sexual organs and whatsnot.
But, think about it.
Does love-making really represent love?
Or is it just a method of reproduction?
Then what about prostitution?
Do they have that much love to pass around?
Did whoever up there want love-making to be a protocol of Love?
Then why don't beasts experience it?
and yet they commit to love-making?
One thing's for sure.
Modern context has greatly degraded the idea of love.
With the increasing trend of people committing to multiple relationships, one after the other,
and the mutilation of love by the media and commercialized, we see that less and less people understand the true meaning of love.
That's probably where the play comes in.
In Shakespearean times, where people actually see love as a important aspect that is not to be meddled with.
That there are no trials-and-errors with playing with people and dumping them just as easily as you answered yes to them.
back to me.
I had always believe in this.
Perhaps until I entered the new environment this year.
I could see the illusion coming, but I could not stop myself.
Cause it all felt so good and comfortable.
It felt as though the sky was always blue, that the flowers never withered.
And until when the illusion was taking full control of me,
and playing with my feelings,
that i realized the folly I had made.
The folly the whole of the world is in now.
And I'm trying to get out of it,
before i get sucked in.
to never get sucked in.
Feel better after typing everything out.
everything that i've been dodging for so long
And i guess the feeling's slowly creeping away.
Probably it just convinces me that I'm right.
That love is for a life-time.
and that it comes only once in a whole life-time.
And there's no way it can come so early.
Bust as the feeling goes away, what is left are scars and fears.
Is this how it is supposed to be?
Is it really an illusion?
Or am I escaping from something that I'm not supposed to?
Escaping from the real world to an illusion,
instead of the other way round?
I don't know.
I really don't.
And this feeling is tearing me apart.
tears me apart.
Super bored. Waiting for people to msn me.
Mood: Thinking- Mildly Sad
Weather: Fluffy Night
-I wanna fill this new frame, but it's empty-
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