This empty feeling.

I'm still emo.

Clinton fell sick and took a pretty long mc. So I get to walk to school and back everyday by myself. Very depressing. Keep thinking of all the stuff that has happened to me and almost teared when i reached home.

Anyway, I am practically dangling in the middle now. I know I should have acted the way I am right at the beginning instead of trying to be someone I'm not. Now I can't just let go, neither can I hang on much longer.

I don't know what's true and what's not any longer. I will try to hang on, but I will not make it.I will try to last, but it will not be long.For I have seen my faults now. and the consequences are too deep to be prevented.I have seen the workings of this new environment much too late.

And now I am stuck. To be neither here nor there. To be stuck between truth and lies. This horrible feeling is creating a desolate space deep in me.

I will struggle to the last. Everyone is against me, but I will fight to the last drop of mental blood left in me. I will hang in there as long as I can. It will be impossible to last the tide, but I will try.

I will try.

EDIT:

You know, this sucks.
Decided to sleep and thought I'll be at least feeling happier after waking up.
so i kinda slept.
and went to check my horoscope when i woke up.
ahhhhhhhhh.
I'm starting to hate horoscopes.

Here's why(tomorrow's horoscope):
You should take the loudest voice in the room seriously, today. This brash, crass person will tell you something no one else has the guts to say. The rest of the gang is busy shutting things out in order to keep pretending reality is exactly what they want it to be. You might want to dislike the obnoxious personalities who are in your life right now, but not all of them deserve your negative feelings: This particular loudmouth could prove to be a real lifesaver. Overall, though, you should watch out for indulging yourself too much.


I'm mean, what?!?!. oh, argh. and from past experiences in horoscoping, the bad things in these predictions ALWAYS come true, while the good thing, is just an equivocation by them. OMG. Tomorrow is really gonna be a horrible day isn't it. In fact I already have a slight hunch which idiotic guy will be the one bringing me down tomorrow.And also, why the hell should i watch out for indulging myself too much when tomorrow's gonna be so horrible!? Indulge in sadness or something, must be. stupid horoscopes.and still there's the 'no one else has the guts to say.' so whatever this guy's telling me tomorrow actually speaks for the rest of the group. Like I am not feeling depressed enough already. You know what? Life just sucks. Even the stars hate me.