The Defeated Failure

This is going to be one emo post. Do not read on if you're not interested.

This is it. I give up.
I know when I'm beaten, I know when I'm gone.
Who am I to use faith to go against fate?

What fate depicts, it inscribes.
Nothing I do will be able to un-do the damage it cause, nor the prophecy it says.
Why bother using faith as an excuse to try and change fate?

I understand now.
I have been demanding too much from life.
and now I'm being reminded by it.

I wanted to settle in as quickly and nicely as possible.
I wanted to change over a new leaf.
I wanted to study.

I wanted lots of stuff.
And unknowingly, I took it for granted when life granted them to me.

Now, fate's reminding me.
Not to be so proud.
Not to be who I am not.
Not to ask so much and give nothing in return.

Ever since I was born, I have been depicted by a fortune-teller as an ICE.
Thus my name.
Cool, calm, cold.
Loner, Keeping thoughts to oneself, and not interacting.
Not bothered by circumstances, not disturbed by surroundings.

I thought I could be more.
I tried to be more.
I tried to be who I knew I'm not.

And now, I've been reminded.
I shall surrender.
I have realized.

I am a failure.
I have been defeated.