it's the high seas we go

Went on a cruise yesterday!
the crowd mostly contained senior citizens who were there to try and make a few quick bucks from the spinning wheels and flipping cards, though.

went up to the deck at about 2am when it was close to empty.
and just looked out across the dark ocean, and the wind against my ears.
and realized that i really needed this,
not just as a vacation,
but as a physical distance,
something to tell me i really am away from everything,
even if it's just for the night.

somewhere where i could just sit and think
about who i want to be,
and who i already am.

and now that i'm back,
maybe i'll try to be someone new.

Here's something i found off thoughtcatalog:
'Getting treated like shit loses its luster after awhile. People don’t tell you the truth, which is that it can actually feel good for an allotted amount of time, it can feel good to see how low you’ll go to feel recognized by someone, but then it just starts to reveal itself for what it is: you not respecting yourself enough to not get walked on all over.'

I never knew what i've always never been express in words can actually be done.
made me feel that much better,
that admist all the pain,
i'm not alone.